People who read the journalist's reports on these killings will discover that in some areas--the writer sounds as if though he is blaming the women; in some areas the writer sounds as if though he was blaming the men. In general the writer appears to be more explicit on the names he was calling the actors.
My position is that the phenomenon is despicable-- no human being will accept that killing someone can be condoned in any way except when someone is physically or obviously on his/her way to kill someone else---in that respect--the case of self-defense may apply.
But we all must agree that sometimes in life, people do things that indeed kill other people directly or indirectly. As such, some times human beings--men or women launch a first strike if they feel that someone else is already on his/her way to kill the person one way or the other. An example will be the killing of the Supper-Star, Malvin Gay by his father--and other examples like that. But let it be clear, I do not give prescriptions for how to kill people--I do not kill people and do not intend to kill anyone or suggest that anyone should kill anyone for any reason whatsoever.
What I was alluding to is that: as a community, Nigerians in America should no longer just be wondering, name-calling, when these killings occur: people must dig deeper than that to seek solutions. In the ancient times--when certain bad things began to happen, the ancients make special journeys to visit supper Oracles for solutions. In this modern time, as well, communities consult experts for solutions. The occurrence should be researched in order to get scientific data that will help our communities to device ways for solutions.
Even just publicizing those gruesome pictures can make people to think twice when they are embarking on criminal schemes--both the men and the women. For quite some time now--most people who came from Africa have the feeling and belief that people from Africa cannot be as deadly as some Americans: they want to use American laws the ways it fits them, but pretend that they do not also know that Americans also, when people do them things that defy morality/humanity/ and rationality- -they some times as well snap and do strange things. For example, a woman who shot the man who raped her very young boy and the courts seemed to be handling the man in a softer way; we have seen lovers shoot people who seemed to put their hands in the mouth of the person they violated.
Some Nigerian men who know clearly that our Nigerian laws forbid men going around (f----king/screwing ) peoples' wives, do it anyways simply because they factor that Nigerian people do not shoot. When you go to parties in this America--and in the party there are Americans and Nigerians in the party--the people Nigerian Coward men would openly be chasing are women with other Nigerians. It is not that they think that they are physically stronger than the Nigerian men who may be there with the women; it is simply because the bad Nigerian men are so cowardly that they just cannot dare mess with women with Americans openly.
They know that Americans of all types will waste no minute in executing them, if the felt insulted by the Nigerian or any man in that matter. I have observed this in many states and places I have been. The same is the case with some of our women--some (bullshits they feed Nigerian men--are sometimes because they felt that Nigerian men are not violent--that they do not kill. While I will like an immediate stoppage to these senseless killings--I also hope that people who are still alive can take some lessens from what have happened so far. Do not dare anyone so badly! If you are a woman--once you know that you are doing certain things you would not have been doing ordinarily in our cultures to a man--do not be too sure of his resolve to endure; if you are a man--and doing bad things with the belief that American laws are on your side or easy on those things--do not be too sure about that. The man you are messing with his wife or the woman you are messing with could also possibly act like American-borns.
One time in California, one woman whom people say was a pauper in Nigeria--but when one guy from her area went home, married and brought her here, trained her in nursing school; after she started making money she filed for divorce and took the houses, the children and so on. Although in a court of law--the system made the woman to be paying the guy back some money; but that woman had the habit of every place there is a party where she knows that the guy will be there--she goes there and be doing all sorts of things she could do to provoke the guy. We have not heard that anything happened, but I felt that the woman should have been more careful and take precaution than that. At least, try to avoid contacts with the guy to give the devil no chance. To prove that the woman may be the offender there--we have learned that she went home and remarried and brought a guy from Nigeria here--and the same thing that happened with her and the first guy happened again--and the newest guy fled off from her.
I have criticized bad Nigerian men: I supported none of them. I am simply saying that--sometimes our people overdrive this their understanding of American ways of living--and it have been showing.
There is one altruism, once there is a conflict--the parties to the conflict all have a share in the causes of that conflict one way or the other. The idea of blaming one party is absolutely wrong. For that reason, we need to research the phenomenon so that we can use the scientific finding to educate our people--both from home and those who are already here.
IF NIGERIAN WOMEN IN NIGERIAN AND OUR MEN ARE SEEING THOSE PICTURES--THEY MUST HAVE LEARNED FEW THINGS FROM THERE. WHEN SOMEONE STAYS HERE AND KEEPS TELLING A WOMEN WHO IS STILL AT HOME THAT AMERICAN LAWS FAVOR WOMEN OR A NIGERIAN MAN WHO IS BEING UNDER ILLUSIONS OF WHAT THIS COUNTRY IS ABOUT, OR IS NOT, THE FATE OF THE MEN IN THE PICTURES MUST HAVE TOLD THEM ONE THING OR ANOTHER. THAT SOMETIMES--A NIGERIAN COULD ALSO ACT LIKE AMERICANS. IF SOMETHING IS NOT DONE--SOON, THE WOMEN WILL ALSO BEGIN TO DO WHAT AMERICAN WOMEN DO AS WELL. SWINDLING A MAN OR WOMAN WITH THE HOPE THAT ONE WILL GET WAY WITH IT--MAY BE BECOMING A THING OF THE PAST. LET US LEAVE ALL CHEATING; DUPING; SWINDLING; AND BE GOOD LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS OF AMERICA AND NIGERIA.
As to Yoruba men--one of the men is a Yoruba man--this ugly event touched on all the major peoples of Nigeria--look at the names well. We may give the credit of not being among this evil by Hausa people to their women's culture. As you know that--the Hausas and Muslims maintain zero tolerance when it comes to a woman going "wild" if you like. Perhaps the answer to that question is that the people adhere to their culture even while here. If the Southerners and their Christian beliefs are too easy to transgress-- the Muslims and Hausas are not that way yet. I do not see Hausa men in this America their wives would prepare and head to parties alone as some Southerns wives do and many other things they know they could not do in Nigeria. The two most obvious bones of contention-- center on fidelity issues and money. We shall be saying more on this.
Jerry Stephens
(USA)
1 comment:
Dear Mr. Tony,
Thanks for your participation in this important discussion.
There are Nigerians who believe that going to Nigeria to marry "field workers" (kids who can be groomed to become nurses or Nigerian trained nurses) mean potential source of wealth.
Wrong. They grow up and become intolerant of emotional, psychological, and physical abuse met on them by their sugar daddies..so called husbands.
Our Nigerian men here refuse to marry the young US-Nigerians but go to Nigeria to seek "virgins" or "novices", nurses, doctors, pharmacists, etc out of ignorance. They forget that the novice learns from examples, life experiences, training and over time. In some cases, they become worst than the Nigerians they left here who already know how this place functions. I always wish them good luck because I know they are going to need it.
I remember growing up in Nigeria and the shock I experienced when I got here and discovered how much I did not know about life. I quickly told myself to get with it or be eaten alive. I learned, adjusted, and blended. Well, I can tell you that the old me was shed off almost 30 years ago. I had no choice. I had to survive in the big city with 45 storey
ADVISE FOR THE MALE FOLKS:
Therefore when an imported girl, yet to be a woman, a year later, tells the 48-60 year old, start-over husband to get lost, or wake up and smell the coffee, it comes as a rude awakening to him too. After all, he paid $3000-$4000 in flight ticket fares just to fly him and his bride back to the US when he went to finalize the import arrangement; not minding the green card rigorous process and charges, the waiting period, the long distance phone calls, and western union fees paid for her tuition to finish high school or college and money given to her parents while he was wooing her. It is not cheap to marry and bring a woman from home. But it is wrong to assume that they are going to be your future meal ticket and vice versa. Wrong!! Wrong!!!, Wrong!!!!
Fact: Some of them assume that the number of times you have had sex with them and the number of children they have had and pregnancy pains pays for all that. Secondly, a nurse goes through 4 to 6 years of intensive training, sleepless nights for exams and then takes the mother of them all, board exam. After that, she works 12 hours every night for 3-5 days a week without sleep along with menstrual cramps, monthly periods, crying, needy babies, and 4-6 pregnancies. This means a bunch of very angry and irritable women. It is only with the grace of God that you find a calm nurse. Therefore, if you bring up matters that should only be discussed during vacations, she might snap at you. In fact, I would not accuse a woman who works 12 hours and sleeps during the day, cooks, cleans, nurses infants, goes to day care centers for pick up and drop offs, and attends Nigerian meetings 3 times a month, participates in church activities in the community, of having affairs. She might bite you. If I were you, I would go back to school to study nursing like your wives so that you can understand what she is going through. And if you feel too macho to do so, just shut up and accept the new wife.
I mean no disrespect to the women married and brought here. I want the same for my sisters at home too because it will help them get green card and I will send less money through Western and pay less Western Union fees. So bravo for the winners. Just don't get yourselves killed. Ask questions before you marry the been-to.
God bless you. I care.
Sir Phil.
PRO, PRO and Vice president.
President and CEO of Nwarueze Enterprizes.
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